Monday, December 8, 2008

The toy gun in the van and the wolves.

This is Bryan posting for the first time in the existence of this blog. I thought I'd relay a couple of funny stories.

Grady has this little toy shot gun that he likes to play with. He likes it so much that, whenever he happens to be thinking of it, he begs us to let him take it with him in the van wherever we go. This is harmless enough (he just holds it on his lap - we don't let him take it into stores or restaurants obviously) so we let him do it. Yesterday evening, Grady was piddling around the house playing and the shotgun popped into his head - he said he wanted it. Meg and I had just settled in to some show on the television, so I just told him he could go out to the van where it still was and get it himself, the van was in the driveway and all the snow was melted, so he should've been able to quickly run out there, open one of the sliding doors, get it, then close the sliding door with the fancy button our van has that closes it and run back in. He made it a few steps out the front door, but it was dark and cold, and he came right back in, saying he was scared and cold. I ridiculed him briefly for saying he was scared, then asked Zetta to go help him.

Zetta went outside with him and all seemed well and then she came back a minute or so later... without him. Meg and I obviously noticed he wasn't with her so we sent her back outside to see what the problem was and tell/help him to get inside. She came back a minute or so later and said... "Daddy... he says he wants you." Arghh... so I get up and go outside. He's stranded, just hanging out in the mini van, side door wide open... looking a bit aloof, and maybe like he had cried a little bit - not full on meltdown, but genuinely concerned about something. He proceeds to tell me that he's afraid of the wolves outside. He does have a bit of an imagination, so it didn't surprise me that he came up with something like that, particularly since he was outside alone in the cold and dark (except for the van light that is). So, I tell him there are no wolves to be scared of... and then tell him that even if there were he'd be good to go because he has his shotgun to shoot them with. At this his face - without words - says... "Listen dude, I know enough to know this chinky little plastic toy shotgun isn't gonna do anything against a pack of real wolves, so why don't you just..." - you get the point.

So, Grady and I head back in. I tell Meg he said he was afraid to get out of the van because of the wolves. Grady tells her he was afraid and that he cried because of the wolves. All the while, a devilish little grin is taking form on Zetta's face... and as soon as Grady spits out that he cried because he was afraid of the wolves, Zetta starts jumping up and down and laughing (not so much in a devious, demonic way... more a ornery, mischievous way) and saying... "I told him there were wolves outside when I went out to help him. Ha-ha!" She was totally proud of the fact that she A) got him to believe there were actually wolves outside B) that belief caused him to be paralyzed with fear and strand himself in the car and C) that she left him out there all alone once she had made it far enough out there to ensure that he successfully got to his gun. All of this - Zetta's devious role in the whole episode - was lost on Grady, he was just glad to be inside and away from the wolves.

Also, I'm pretty sure wolves being the animal of choice resulted from the fact that Zetta had watched The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe earlier that day. The wolves are the evil White Witch's secret police.

To end the whole story, I told Zetta - for the Nth time, I've lost count - that Grady will actually be bigger and stronger than her some day, so she better watch out.


agnicholl said...

Ha! Poor Grady--but why doesn't it surprise me at all? Keep posting--you guys have fallen behind since Reformation!

Varna said...

ah hah! hilarious! Yes Grady may be bigger one day but the girls will always be trickier! Miss ya'll!

Patrick Stefan said...

Grady will be bigger and stronger, I am surprised Zetta was such a little story teller, and so proud! Ahhh those boys will have fun with her in return someday :-)